Past & Future
by PrussianKnight9
Summary: It had been his own fault for thinking he could live to please others, for thinking he wasn't alone in this cold, cold world. But Kakuzu never made the same mistake twice. Originally written on Tumblr for the prompt: "Past & Future" by 'si-ching'.


**I thought I'd uploaded all the tumblr oneshots, but it seems this one escaped my notice. For those of you who haven't read it yet, here it is!**

 **(In case anyone noticed, I also changed a few of the sentences when I copied the story over to here, so they might just be very slightly different to the version on Tumblr. This is the new and improved one, though there isn't much difference.)**

 **Enjoy!**

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 _ **Past**_ \- _Kakuzu:_

When people asked him, 'why do you do this?', then Kakuzu would simply say, 'because I said I would'. When they refused to accept that as an answer, they'd ask, 'what goods are _you_ hoping to get out of it?'. Here, Kakuzu would say, 'nothing'. Why? Because it had simply been the truth. A loyal, devoted man he was, and an honest one too. Lying had seemed like the next big crime after deserting one's responsibilities as a shinobi. He had always been one to keep his word, no matter what it took. And if it was for the sake of his village, then he'd throw his life out to the front lines a hundred times over.

Perhaps that's where he'd gone wrong. No, not the part where he'd failed to realize the true and utter absurdity of the mission, but how he'd obey the words of the elders like the words of a God.

After all, there was no such thing.

To do so meant the inevitable destruction of every careful brick that he'd stacked atop his steadily growing tower of accomplishments in life, but he had realized this only too late. To blindly swallow commands and execute them without an ounce of humility? Kakuzu had done just that, and it had quite literally ripped him apart.

" _What are you trying to achieve by doing this?" By now the demolished room was flooded with Leaf ninja guards, positioning themselves around their prized Hokage who was currently holding his own chakra levels under meticulously calculated control, while Kakuzu's own system flared dramatically in his anger._

 _"I am merely doing what I was meant to do," he hissed, jerking once again in his binds, but the roots were entwined securely over his arms, legs, and hands, preventing him from forming any seals._

 _Hashirama's eyes were dark, but not out of malice. They were instead churning with a maelstrom that reflected the complexity of his thoughts and emotions, and mixed inside was a strange glint of sympathy, one which enraged Kakuzu even further. This man had_ no _right to feel sorry for him, or anything at all._

 _"I don't know what the Waterfalls hoped to get out of sending a boy_ — _" Kakuzu snarled savagely; "_ — _after my neck. I do not wish to start a conflict between our nations. The Village Hidden in the Leaves will be built to provide a safe home for those whom I hold dear to my heart, not as a military base as I'm assuming you thought, and found as a threat. But if situations call for it, I will do whatever it takes to defend my people."_

There was no happiness, no joy, no throbbing sense of pride at the notion of being a mere play-puppet for the elders of his home. Kakuzu had offered up his strings to them, and just like that he'd danced and performed and tricked until they cut off his limbs when they grew tired of the show.

From that day he knew: everything in this world would simply be indifferent to everything that should have been owed to him. He had to provide his own compensations for himself. He believed in no one but himself, and _served_ no one but himself.

Only his actions alone would provide any benefit to him; he was his own God now.

But even despite that, he knew there was still no such thing.

 ** _Future_ \- **_Hidan:_

He didn't have to look really far to understand that Kakuzu was not an open man.

It was evident in his actions and speech, and even the way he dressed screamed of solitude and danger. What Hidan found particularly interesting about this money-grubbing bastard however was how damn _confident_ he was in the events that played out through his life. Never once had he seen the older man look unsure of which action to choose next, or struggle to decide between a number of options.

No, with him it was always, 'like _that_ '. Or 'it will be _this way'_. It always seemed like he was one step ahead of his own game, knowing exactly what to say in every situation imaginable, and what to do as well.

They were never the prettiest of things, of course, but it did get things done, albeit in a way that Hidan didn't necessarily agree with.

When the Jashinist would actually stop to really think about _why_ the older man refused so adamantly to place any faith whatsoever into the possible existence of a deity, nothing had made any sense to him. It was obvious even to him that this was a conclusion his partner had arrived to a long time ago and had carried throughout most of his ridiulously long life, so why? Why did Kakuzu covet money so much while almost completely disregarding the more valuable things in life? Why does he deny Hidan the chance to explain time and time again, that believing in something was more rewarding in the long run than hunting after heads for a handful of dirty cash?

 _There is no such thing as God_ , Kakuzu would growl at him with the same look of disgust. _Tricking yourself into believing some fantasy that doesn't exist will only lead you to blindly fall to your death._

The first few couple years, the Jashinist had shrugged it off as merely a way to aggravate him further. But the more he mulled over the phrase, the less it sounded like a taunt, and more of like... a warning, of sorts.

But that made even less sense. What did _Kakuzu_ know of religious faith? Of devoting every ounce of your strength and soul into carrying out the commands of a God, in gratitude of their eternal protection?

Of swearing loyalty to a single source of power that could promise you a home?

Of offering everything he possessed to fulfill their wishes?

Of willing to sacrifice everything he had because they were the only ones he _loved?_

Well, who was he kidding.

The bastard clearly knew _nothing_ of those things.

And that was why Hidan knew: despite all his power, his immeasurable strength and formidability and all those 'I-am-better-than-you-all' vibes he naturally radiates, he was just another faithless, sinning heathen, a slave to the limits and boundaries of a pitiful, mortal life.

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